Men are fond of sex and so naturally when their partners go through a phase of low libido, it’s worrying for them. She just doesn’t seem to be inclined for sex or rather not the way she used to be. Every night that he plans for some activity, she either makes some excuse or just says she is not up to it. This worries him. He reads up and finds out the culprit. 'Ahaa, it must be menopause and estrogen!' He decides to have a heart to heart talk with his partner. She listens patiently and after that, the first few words that she says, leaves him bewildered. “ it’s not me, it’s you!” For the first time, he comes to realize how the frequent episodes of erectile dysfunction were bothering her.

Yes, this is very true. When a study was conducted on a group of menopausal women, many stated that although they did suffer from problems like dry vagina and stress, their husband’s erectile dysfunction(ED) during sex was also one of the major reasons why they eventually lost their interest in sex. Some even went on to say ED itself was not the major problem, but when raised, the defensive or rude attitude of their partners is what finally curbed their eagerness for further sex.

It is estimated that 50% of men between the ages of 40 and 70 suffer from erectile dysfunction and almost 2 out of 3 women suffer from postmenopausal symptoms, like the dry vagina, low libido, etc. These factors might dampen the sexual experience for both, leading to lesser episodes of sex.

The best thing to do in such cases is,  instead of blaming her or blaming yourself, to develop an attitude of understanding towards each other and keep communication open. Sexual dysfunction is common in both men and women and once you reach forty, the percentage of problems increases. But here are a few simple ways in which you both can solve the issue while enjoying a good sex life

1 Treat Erectile Dysfunction: From the natural supplements to medications to just a simple change in lifestyle, there are many ways to combat erectile dysfunction. Even simple steps like practicing meditation, cutting down on alcohol and nicotine, healthy eating and exercising will help.

2 Use lubricants and estrogen creams: Menopause does lead to vaginal dryness and tightness. This leads to a painful sexual experience for many women. Using simple water-based lubricants may help solve the issue. If the problem still persists then your doctor can prescribe you an estrogen-based cream to help with the dryness and tightness.

3 Meet a sex therapist: If nothing else works, then meeting a sex therapist would be a good idea. He or she would be able to counsel you guys on how to work around your sexual problems without letting it affect your personal lives.

4 Respect and acknowledge each other problems: It’s very important to be open and honest with each other about the issues that you are facing. Also, it’s very important to have an understanding attitude towards each other’s problems.  Problems can always be worked upon. What is important is to enjoy your time in between the sheets,  in a way you both are most comfortable with.