Now there’s a headline that we would not have seen coming. However there’s no other way to describe what Sheeran has been up to.

He has been sending these remarkable productions to friends, and reckons that he started on this bizarre gifting  idea because Elton John, who is a sort of mentor, would send him odd gifts of similar nature.

Is this habit simply along the lines of rich celebrities doing weird things, or is there something we can read into it?

Well, we can try.

The gift can seem like a deeply private one—given that the penis is a deeply private organ—and therefore probably confers exceptional friend status on the recipient. It has to be a heteronormative reading, because if Sheeran were to send the gift to someone not identifying as a man, there is substantial risk of public outrage. Therefore there’s a certain old fashioned male bonding element to it. Might it be criticised on those grounds? Well, the fact that Sir Elton is an active player in the story, should be mitigating enough.

Anyway, it underscores the male obsession with the penis and its size again, and so to help you, dear reader, evaluate penis size, we present this link below to index yours to that of other men on the basis of a scientific study.

Find out your penis length percentile

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