In this world of constant and endless marketing and consumerism, we are inundated with visuals and ideas of what we should eat, how we should look and wear, and even how we should make love. This kind of stereotyping is ludicrous and ridiculous, as it meddles with the essential cog of our identity, which is, uniqueness!

If looks were the secret to better sex and happy life, celebrity divorce would have been an alien idea, whereas, in reality, divorce rates are alarmingly high there. Contrarily, our parents and grandparents who hardly cared about looks, particularly in the privacy of their bedrooms, succeeded in achieving a more meaningful and fulfilling marital life. It is the unadulterated love that helped them attain this.

Age is inevitable and will bring-in distinct changes in the body. Some of the marked changes will include –

· Low hormone levels which will result in muscle loss

· Loose and sagging skin

· Thin­ning or balding hair

These changes take away the youthful vigor from our body and can create a sense of inferiority complex, which ramifies into reluctance towards sex. Many feel a sense of unease in exposing the body which has sagging skin and expanding waist, to the partner. Many others demand sex strictly under the covers or in a dark room.

Obsession with appearance during sexual encounters thwarts natural and uninhibited lovemaking. It also affects the responses to sexual stimulations.

Interestingly, appearance might not be the sole cause of low esteem. At times, career failures, and other setbacks of life can also lead to low esteem and take away desire from one’s life. In men, instances of Erectile Dys­function or Premature Ejaculation (PE) can belittle assurance in manliness and virility.

Irrespective of the causes, poor self-image and low self-esteem significantly affect sex life. The situation aggravates when these two ramify into performance anxiety. This most definitely triggers a cycle of repeated failures in having satisfying sex, which further diminishes confidence and self-esteem. To address this issue, one must focus on it from the very beginning and start communicating about it.

Another important way to deal with this is to stop fretting about the flaws and focusing on the strength of a relationship, and mutual love and understanding. This will invigorate both confidence and self-esteem and help partners bond in a renewed manner, often at a deeper level. Also, it is a good idea to look for pleasuring each other in different ways that work for both. Great sex comes from great love and bonding.

That said, obesity is often a reason for multiple woes. It affects health, results in inertia, and lethargy, which can affect sex drive. Weight loss is a great way to regain an active and energetic life, which in turn boosts confidence. Besides, exercising tones the muscles and creates a better body image, which can perk up sexual desire. A healthy diet is another excellent way to a healthy life and a fit body and, in turn, a healthy sex life.

Be you, and let your uniqueness be the foundation of your relationship. Looks are ephemeral and often grossly overhyped!