ED ain’t just a problem that hinders your relationship and sex life, but it also affects you psychologically. It is an added stress which you need to overcome organically and methodically. There are a few aspects that cause and affect your psychological behavior. We will discuss those reasons and will also talk about possible solutions. These solutions should help you lead a better sexual life by avoiding the symptoms of erectile dysfunction.
ED & the modern lifestyle
Depression causes numerous health effects, and the anti-depressants further alter your everyday life functions. It inhibits your sexual desire, and you may end up saying things like, “okay, I didn’t think about it, but we can do it,” when your partner approaches you for sex while you are on pills. This would certainly make your partner feel bad. They might start feeling that you are seeing someone else, or they aren’t up to the level of your expectations which you fantasize about. All these thoughts would swirl up in your partner’s head, worsening the situation. Whereas the culprit was the medications. Often men give up those pills, as it tends to be an obstacle for their sex life and thereby ending up being more stressful.
The world that we live in today, relationships are not meant to be a cakewalk. There are times when you are blindly in love, and there are times when you don’t even like each other. With circumstances, things change. You can’t always be sweet and nice to a person. It is typical human behavior. Arguments and heated discussions tend to happen, but how you handle them is important. At times you get busy, get distracted, and you probably want to be alone. Or possibly you want your partner to understand your desire to have sex just by looking at you. It doesn’t happen in real life. You need to spill the beans out and be expressive. The general problem is—none want to talk or discuss what he or she wants. And, the solution for this is to voice up!
Sex is the least discussed topic. We learn most of it ourselves; our parents don’t talk to us regarding sex, and the virtual world shows it entirely different than what exactly it is. All of this adds on to the problem of ED, which leaves one confused about the whole thing, again leading to “depression.”
“I spoke to many who suffer ED, and surprisingly they didn’t know they had it. They were always confused, why couldn’t they do it! Why couldn’t they hold the erection for long,” said the family therapist.
Fantasies can take a toll. It can lead to performance anxiety adding on to ED. Sometimes, when you want to be your best in bed, you might go off-board. If that happens, leave it right there. Don’t linger to it, thinking that you could not hold up the erection longer or couldn’t ejaculate maybe. Next time when you are doing it, and you have this previous session rolling in your mind, you have successfully built up the performance pressure again. The best way to deal with it right then is to talk to your partner, explain your situation and leave it there. Don’t hold on to it.
Is sex just intimacy, or is it a way of expressing love?
Sex isn’t just the important thing between you and your partner. It’s important but as an expression of love. If you have Erectile Dysfunction, talk to your partner, explain your situation, and work it out together. With great support, love, and the right medication, one can always overcome ED. There are many ways to have intimacy; having those sensual talks, expressing love can be one.
You and your partner should let your bodies learn to care about each other to again develop a sense of safety. When you are ready to work on it, stop everything, turn-off tv, internet, shut the door, and leave your gadgets aside, don’t worry whether dinner is ready or not. Spend 30-45 min. in the physical space of each other, breathe with your partner, look into their eyes, touch their skin, feel the warmth and the texture, cuddle each other. Express how much you love and cherish the company of your partner.
Don’t intentionally arouse each other, be in that safe space again physically. Just lying down in that space may bring a lot of difference. Also, it will definitely enrich your bond. All you need to do is, forget your stress and embrace each other’s presence. It not only helps you overcome your stress but also enables you to overcome ED because you have a partner in crime who understands and supports you very well.
