If you feel that your relationship has taken a step ahead and you are now ready to explore each other sexually, well, it’s great. But before taking this plunge, there are many things a couple needs to discuss, which most of the time they don’t, either because they feel awkward or they might find that discussing it may put the other person off! But the fact remains, there are a few important topics which a sexually active couple or a couple who intend to get sexually active, need to speak about, not only for healthy sex life but also to avoid sex-related health issues and conflicts. Here are 5 topics, discussing which with your partner will help your sex life, for the better!
What you expect from your sex life or partner might or might not match with hers. You might be expecting sex or sexual activity at least once a day while she might not be okay with it, more than once a week. That would generally put you guys off track. In this case, you both need to adjust a little bit and come to a common point, like maybe twice or thrice a week. But say compared to your daily requirement if some partner says she is okay with some activity only once a month, then it would be too long a gap to be able to bridge it. So it’s always better to discuss the same with your partner beforehand so that if frequencies match, it’s great if not, you can decide on what to do next.
2 Sexual History:
However awkward it might feel, it is essential to discuss your sexual history with each other, especially coming to the health aspect of it. Like whether either of you has ever suffered from any sexually transmitted disease, whether you have been ever tested for HIV, and so on. These questions are mandatory and should not be ignored for your sexual well-being. Remember, at the end of the day, your sexual health is your responsibility, and no one else’s. In case either of you has never got tested for STIs, you can get a test done together, thereby breaking the awkwardness and making things look like more of a to-do activity to do together.
We all have sexual fantasies, be it having daring sex in an aircraft lavatory or playing bondage at home. Discuss the same with your partner, for here also frequency matching is important. Also, in case, you enjoy oral sex more or anal sex, it is very important to convey the same. These things are better discussed outside the bedroom, than suddenly throwing it upon your partner like a surprise or shock. Although things like lube, lotions, or portions are pretty common, playing a bondage queen might not be precisely what’s at the back of her mind. Similarly, if sex toys appeal to either of you, then before deciding to incorporate some in your bedroom, be sure to keep your partner in the picture for the same. You both might be on different levels, but trying to satisfy each other while not making huge compromises, is also a key to having a happy sex life.
4 Methods of Contraception:
Sex can be really fun without having to worry about any unplanned pregnancy, which can put both of you into a fix. There are plenty of contraception methods available from pills to condoms to IUDs. Be sure to discuss a plan with your partner, based on both of your comfort levels and safety. Having safe sex is a responsibility that lies with both the partners, and any accidents occurring from carelessness can affect the relationship, especially the trust part of it.
5 The turn-ons and turn-offs:
Many couples leave this for inside the bedroom, which is not the right approach. It might just spoil the mood, take the other person aback, and create a psychological barrier. Best is to discuss it with your partner when you guys are outside, feeling relaxed, maybe chilling out watching Netflix, or just having a normal conversation. Letting each other know about your likes and dislikes in the bedroom is essential to having a blissful sex life. Like for example, if you like to be kissed on your ears and dislike being sucked on your neck, you need to convey this in a very amicable tone like ‘kissing on my ears turns me on, more than anything to do with my neck.’ Same way, try to know what turns on your partner and what puts her off, to help focus on those points in the bedroom.