There is no conclusive study or a concrete fact to prove that the genes of women are encoded to be shyer than men. Yet, as we see they are closed in nature and are tough nuts to crack for men.

Most of the women do not openly express their desires, especially about sex. She will not usually ask you what she wants during sex, but she will often give you elusive hints and signals. Can you catch them? It is totally up to you. You can decode these secret signs to set her wild side on fire and to convert your own fantasies into reality.

Signal: Slow down

The Sign: She’s putting both of her hands on your chest and locking her arms at the elbow.

As per a body language expert who is also an author of “The Body Language Bible”, if you notice both her hands on your chest, she is trying to create a physical barrier against you. The expert says that she might even use her knees too by bringing them upwards to stop and slow you down. However, if she is digging her heels into the back of your legs or bum, she definitely wants you to keep going.

What should you do?

This tension as she tries to stop you will prevent her body from releasing more testosterone at that moment which is the hormone responsible for driving sex. Instead, her body will release stress hormones called cortisol. You can relax her by shifting your focus from touching her most sensitive parts to fewest sensitive spots in order to relax her. It could be the sides of her breasts; top of her thighs, or simply rubbing her arms or kissing her for a while.

This will create some space for her as she will feel better but ultimately this will flood her system once again with oxytocin which is the feel-good hormone. She will end up getting stimulated and aroused again as she will respond by arching her back and pointing her hips upwards. You can then swiftly move to her nipples, genitals and other highly sensitive parts.

Leap for your fantasy: You can make her beg for more.

Signal: She wants to control

The Sign: She’s constantly gazing into your eyes

This kind of behaviour simply indicates confrontation and dominance. You can visualize it by imagining two cats staring at each other. Our society and culture have taught women to be submissive and to look away to break eye contact. If she is breaking this code for you, she is confident and ready to take control. Let her lead as she may also indicate boldness by raising her chin slightly.

What should you do?

This is an opportunity for you to flood her system with the chemical responsible for love, attraction, and pleasure. You can do that by touching and caressing her breasts while still maintaining eye contact. Touch her nipples, and it will cause an additional rush of oxytocin and dopamine along with phenylethylamine (PEA).

These hormones together are ‘rewarding’ chemicals. Just pull her gently on top of you and then slide your hands upwards when she is holding your hands or wrists. This is an affirmation that you are submitting yourself to her and inviting her to take control. She will be prepared for taking control and going forward she will initiate to do this often to lift your sexual pleasure.

Leap for your fantasy: Let her take the charge.

Signal: She wants you to dominate her

The Sign: She’s crossing her hands on her head

If she has raised her hands and crossing them above her head, she is giving you access to some of the most vulnerable spots on her body like stomach, chest, underarms, etc. She is revealing her full breast by doing so, it is a sign that she wants you to touch there. A sexual therapist says that it is a passive position as she partially restrains herself by locking her hands up.

What should you do?

You can pin her down by lightly but also forcefully holding her wrist as you kiss her. You can then use your knee to part her legs and to get between them. Since it is a dominant sexual position, doing so will put you in charge. You can try bondage by using a tie, her stocking, or gown cord as she has already trusted you.

Her raised hand interlocked with each other is an indication that she is open to some light bondage. You can also blindfold her before you start to further kiss her and touch her body for more arousal. Do not forget to encourage her to be vocal by saying “your moans and groans turn me on.” She will enjoy her freedom being taken away and will be more open to doing this next time.

Leap for your fantasy: It’s time to get kinkier as you can try bondage.

Signal: She wants you to do it back to her, take revenge!

The Sign: She’s biting on you

Body language subject matter experts say that since women are mostly shy to voice out their sexual demands, they will do things to their partners which they want to be done to them. Focus closely on how much pressure she is using and for how much time to understand its meaning.

Biting can turn a woman more aroused than a man! Surprising isn’t it? But this is what Dr. Barry Komisaruk has to say who is a professor of sexual psychology at Rutgers University. While being aroused her pain threshold levels will rise up to 50% and she starts to enjoy that.

What should you do?

Your early childhood experience of biting someone might have taught you that you might get punished if you do it. Like by being spanked. If she bites you apply the same principle. Spank her but use the same pressure as she used for biting. Make sure not to hurt her and if she moans and bites you back again, tell her she is “bad” and lightly swat on her buttocks.

Russian scientists say that it causes endorphins rush but it increases blood flow to the genital area and this, in turn, will give her stronger orgasm. If she moans, laughs or continues to bite, she is indicating that she wants more of what you are doing to her and you can continue.

Leap for your fantasy: Don’t you want to spank her?

Signal: She’s into her past experience

The Sign: She’s looking away, down to the left

“This is the position the eyes go to when she is trying to remember feeling, touching, smelling or tasting something,” says Richard Bandler who is an author. He has written a book over Neurolinguistic Programming, he further says that she might be bored and possibly even talking to herself like what colour she wants for the ceiling if she looks down to the right.

What should you do?

Archives of Sexual Behaviour studies reveal that men are more visually aroused but if you want to drive your woman to orgasm quickly, make her visualize and fantasize. You can do that by talking about your last steamy session. Remind her how sexy she looked and turned on she made you feel.

To drive her deeper into it, ask her how she felt and enjoyed the most. This will encourage her to open up and talk. The more you do that the more she will reveal herself to you.

Leap for your fantasy: More dirty talks, teach her to do it.

When you start to pick on these signals and the signs that she gives you, you can add fuel to her fire and uplift your intimacy as couple to improve your sex life. Remember to be gentle all the time if you want your fantasies to really come alive.

body language in bed