Sex can be exciting, happening, relaxing and fun for many. But for some, sex can be a cause of worry or anxiety. Some men avoid sex because of the fears of disappointing their partner, worrying over ejaculation, negative body image and weight issues.
Take Shekar's case who was an extremely thin guy since his teenage. Shekar's friends made fun of his body. He used to be calm and took such comments with a smile. But deep inside, he had developed a poor body image. Thinking that he would be rejected by girls, Shekar never took any efforts to date anyone. He never went out of his comfort zone because he was always bullied by his colleagues for his reed thin body. Then came Kyra in Shekar's life who made him believe that beauty is not in the looks but beauty lies in the heart.
Shekar's overall life changed for the good. I know you would be curious to know about his sex life? Yes, initially he was too shy to even hug Kyra, but the positive energy that Kyra gave Shekar made him believe in himself and accept his body as it is.
Kyra's optimism combined with Shekar's growing fondness for her made him think 'so what if I am thin, I am capable too.' He challenged the body ideals and removed the idea of a perfect body image from his mind. Instead of suppressing his feelings whenever someone teased him in personal and professional life, Shekar used to revert them by singing "hum duble hai toh kya hua dilwale hai". Some people laughed at his response, some got angry and some thought he is crazy but eventually people's thoughts stopped bothering Shekar.
Shekar started to appreciate his inner beauty and adopted a rational self-talk whenever he thought he was not good-enough for a happy relationship. One fine day, Shekar proposed Kyra for marriage. So, did they live happily ever-after? Hmm, it wasn't easy for Shekar who was living with self-doubt about his body. So, he expressed his issues with Kyra who took professional support and self-education to overcome the body fears. For a change, Kyra started teasing Shekar this time. No, not in a wrong way. But she complimented him often for being the incredibly sexy husband in the world.
If you get anxious on the idea of sex due to negative body image, be patient with yourself. Address the issues honestly with a sex therapist. Over time, your fears or phobias will reduce and you can also explore your personal range of sexual pleasure with your partner.