Admit it! Kids, in spite of being the source of greatest joys, their arrival in your lives disrupt sex life as nothing else can. This is primarily because they take up the entire focus, attention and time of your wife. She has to play the role of the mother, caregiver, nourishment supplier and take care of many more difficult responsibilities for the newborn, who initially are devoid of all knowledge except that of the existence of the mother.
The essential duties of a new mother drain her completely. Added to this is the sleeplessness, which invariably comes with newborns who either refuse to sleep at night or wake up now and then. So, when you are waking up with an erection like you always did, your wife will be getting up completely exhausted and sleep-deprived.
What the dads of newborns and toddlers need to keep in mind, is to be flexible about the concept of sex at this stage and mothball the act of intercourse for a while. Sex does not mean just intercourse. Any form of pleasuring each other is very much sexual experience, and during the first few months after childbirth, women would love to be pleasured sans intercourse.
Be very sensitive to your wife at this stage, keep making her understand that you are with her, tell her how you love and desire her all the same. And, do this, not because she just gave you your progeny, but because she is your wife and you do love her.
That said, mothers too need to be more open in their minds and allow the new dads to use a vibrator. This is beneficial for moms, also as they will get an orgasm much faster. A vibrator is just the right thing to satisfy and be satisfied without intercourse. For the husband’s share of pleasure and orgasm, the wife can make use of her hands or opt for oral sex, if the couple is comfortable with it.
A brilliant way to go about this kind of slightly varied sexual intimacy during early months after childbirth is for women to pleasure their husbands in the morning, and for men to give their partners orgasm in the evening when women usually feel better. The bottom line here is to be flexible. Tweak your daily schedule misters! You can always watch the cricket/football match, or listen to the ubiquitous harangues on news channels an hour later in the evening.
Also, if you are up for it, think of leaving the kid/s with the nanny or the grandparents and check into a resort or hotel. Don’t fret! You can be there for a couple of hours, have a nice ‘we’ time, get a luxurious lunch, and a bubble bath followed by a much needed sexual intimacy, which restores the magic that you have always shared.
Remember! A little adjustment will go a long way in keeping your sex life kindled. Once the children get a little older, things will fall in place, and you can get your wildest sexual fantasies to turn true!
Wait! When children grow up, you can have other challenges. One common issue with little grown-up children is their unannounced arrival while you were intimate with their mother. This has to be dealt with much caution and with some heart to heart, talking to the little ones. Children must understand that parental intimacy is natural, as it is the most emphatic expression of their love for each other.
Do whatever you can, but don’t let sex take a backseat after becoming parents. It is far more challenging to restart sex than to maintain it in the face of challenges.
However, if there is a need to restart sex with your wife, it is better to consult a doctor, a therapist, or a marriage counsellor for help. Lack of sexual desire is a grave issue and can have links to underlying chronic ailments. By all means, seek medical advice under such situations.
Sexual intimacy is the most intense kind of intimacy known to man. Hold on to it!