In his celebrated epic Paradise Lost, John Milton says – “The mind is its own place, and in itself/Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.”
Hardly ever a truer word was spoken. It actually is the human mind that decides the quality of life lived. The psychological standpoint phenomenally influences one’s life choices, including personal, financial, social even sexual.
We know that the mind plays a role in causing premature ejaculation (PE). However, according to medical science psychology has also been found to cause delayed ejaculation (DE), a common medical disorder, also widely known by the name – ‘impaired ejaculation.’ In this condition, more than 30 minutes of sexual excitement including both manual and oral stimulation, is required by a man to reach orgasm and ejaculate. In certain cases, ejaculation might not occur as well.
Though there can be multiple causes behind DE including chronic disease, addiction and reactions to medications, the psychological factors like anxiety, depression, play a potential role. DE occurs to most men at some point in time; however, it becomes a cause of concern if it gets prolonged. A lifelong condition of DE differs entirely from the one that happens later in life.
Also, while some may have a general issue where they experience DE in all sexual intimacies, others can face what is known as ‘situational delayed ejaculation’ in which DE occurs either selectively with certain partners or in some specific situations. The disorder though doesn’t ramify into serious health risks, often becomes a cause of stress and anxiety which can eventually affect one’s sexual life and create relationship issues. Also, in exceptional cases, it can be a symptom of serious health issues like heart disease or diabetes.
Psychological causes of DE
Psychological causes of DE are often linked with anxiety, depression, mental health conditions, relationship problems, poor communication or other concerns. Past traumatic experiences and socio-cultural or religious taboos can also make men view sex in a negative perspective and lead to delayed ejaculation (DE).
Men afflicted with delayed ejaculation (DE) can get physically aroused in the presence of a partner but remain emotionally detached. This will make it difficult for them to focus on the sexual act and, in turn, to climax.
Men are known to be beleaguered with a host of concerns while getting into bed with a woman. Some of their worries include –
· Getting the partner pregnant
· Performance anxiety
· If the partner is attracted to him
· If the partner is enjoying the act
· If there would be a problem in his climaxing
All these intrusive thoughts take a man's mind away from the sexual act, making it difficult not only to enjoy the sexual encounter but also to achieve orgasm. Also, funny though it may seem, while in the act, a man’s mind may stray into his ongoing economic and professional issues and crisis, thwarting him to concentrate on the work at hand!
Social and cultural factors significantly impact the sex life of a man and can also be a potential cause of DE. Religious beliefs and dogmas that view sexuality in a closeted perspective and forbid acts like masturbation, same-sex relations, and extra-marital sexual intimacy often thwart men from exploring and experiencing sex without inhibition. Such men might fail to derive pleasure from the sex or to exhibit sexual expressions when in bed with the partner. Elements like shame and guilt also restrain him from freely inundating himself, physically and emotionally, in the act of sex.
Another known factor that leads to delayed ejaculation (DE) is the control issue which creates trouble in relegating other concerns to the back of the mind and experiencing sexual pleasure. Such men might indulge in sex with multiple sexual partners just to brag about it, but in reality, they fail to derive true sensual pleasure.
Delayed ejaculation (DE) is usually treated on the basis of underlying causes. In the case of psychology triggered DE, therapy or counselling can be of great help. Sex therapy is also a potential cure in such cases. But a visit to a doctor is important to address the condition.