A couple in a long-term relationship has countless conflicts and stress. Questions related to increasing family, money expenditure, individual goals, and more can tear the relationships apart.
It is natural to have differences because individuals are made to be different. They all have different demands, desires, wishes, satisfaction levels, excitement, and the biological as well as psychological configurations. Sex is one of the vital elements of the relationship known to bond couples together and even separate them occasionally.
How to bridge the gap between the naturally different levels of sexual intimacy needs among the couple? As relationships grow old, sexual drive, intimacy, desire, and how frequent you are in sex tend to fluctuate. This was revealed in the UK by an Open University, which surveyed over 5000 individuals for this study. It’s the men who were found to be needier as compare to women.
The study offered shocking revelations like 30 percent of women without children admitted their partners wanting more sex while just 17 percent of men agreed to it. Further, the results became evidently more shocking when 40 percent of mothers said their partner desired more sex, and just 10 percent of men (fathers) agreed to it.
One of the exciting findings of the research suggests that wanting sex less often is not because of any relationship conflicts or the satisfaction levels of partners. So, what is it?
People in this study were committed to their long-term relationship goals and to be together. They believed in working out on differences and bringing the change because sex was not a life sentence for them.
Here are the few creative ways to effectively balance your mismatched sex drive:
- Laugh Together
Sex is important even for happy couples, but they don’t ruminate on it as an issue. If you look deeply enough with a rigid head, sex will always look like an issue. It will only make the problem bigger. Laughter can boost intimacy among couples outside of the bedroom by easing tension and even turning them on at times. It opens up people for each other and brings more comfort in any relationship. If you laugh together, you will manage to laugh off the issues and build a greater bonding.
- Date Her
If you think she is not giving you enough sex, ask her for a date. The chances are she will not disappoint you and rather want you close. You can plan date nights, casual morning/evening walks together, weekend trips, etc. Compliments, cuddling, and kisses are the key to even nonsexual closeness and to keep the intimacy alive in your relationship.
Building intimacy through the quality time spent together opens the door for more opportunities in the bedroom. Touch base intimacy builds stronger connection and commitment among couples, and you need to do this often.
- Breaks for Married Couple
If you sleep with children nearby, have frequent guests or a snoring partner, your sex life might be largely affected. You can find a peaceful corner in the house for yourself and sleep on a separate bed for a day or two for better and peaceful sleep. Alternatively, to avoid disturbing children, you both can sneak into some other room for adventurous sex.
This will charge you up, and the next time when you are sleeping together, make it a sex date. Doing this often will keep sex in repeating in your calendar.
When you take off time for yourself, focus on self-reflection, or composing yourself through different activities like guy’s night, boxing classes, etc. can help you get rid of the monotony. Happy couples live together, share, and do everything together, but when you take tiny little breaks. you feel more content. Remember, we don’t mean separate living arrangements for you but just some “me” time for you.
- Be Thoughtful
After a certain time, long term relationships of a happy couple becomes very predictive. Things like thoughtful gestures, compliments, etc. start to disappear, but imagine how picking up her favorite candy or her favorite flower on the way back home will make her feel.
Sexual relationships can flourish only when you value positive relationship behaviors and go that extra mile to make your partner happy. Nurture your relationship regularly; your partner will certainly come closer to bridge the differences and your mismatched sexual drive.