Sex problems such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or delayed ejaculation are all issues that men don’t like to talk about. They don’t feel comfortable discussing it with partners, friends, or even doctors, which is why misters is here.
Unlike any other health issue, sex problems are secretive matters which deeply trouble a person suffering from any of its types. Some men like to delay their ejaculation for added fun, but men are battling with this condition as it takes longer than they would want. Ejaculation is a matter of a few minutes for men, but men with delayed ejaculation take more than 30-45 minutes or sometimes totally fail to ejaculate.
Humans are built with only finite stamina, and when you have exhausted all of it with your partner trying to reach climax where you get to ejaculate and still haven’t, it will leave you and possibly your partner as well in a state of confusion, embarrassment, and frustration. So how do you deal with it?
What is causing you Delayed Ejaculation, and how can you get rid of this?
- Physical Issues contributing to the problem
Nerve damage either due to stroke or injury, spine-related issues, multiple sclerosis, etc. are some known causes behind the troubles related to ejaculation. On the other hand, some medication for anxiety, blood pressure, or other existing prescriptions might be altering your sexual health as they come with side effects. Also, you might have contributing causes if you take drugs or drink excessively.
If you can ejaculate easily when masturbating but not when doing it with a partner, you should watch for the techniques, pressure-sensitive areas, and movements that stimulate you more during masturbation. Try to achieve the same using regular intercourse when you are with a partner.
- Psychological Factors
Psychologies of couples play a vital role in their sexual wellbeing together. As a matter of fact, it is responsible for not just delayed ejaculation but also PE and ED. Experts believe that most problems are deep down rooted in psychology, and this is why you are likely to ejaculate when you masturbate but not with regular intercourse.
Religion, culture, or traditional beliefs can also tweak your psychology and how you perceive sexual relationships. There are cases where people see sexual pleasure as a matter of embarrassment and shame.
If not that, how about your relationship with your current partner, how happy are you? Do you feel emotionally attached and safe? How well do you get along? Do you have conflicts often? How well do you communicate with each other about your desires and demands? Are you dealing with any stress related to family, finance, work, friends, etc.?
Many psychological factors together can disturb your sex drive and cause delayed ejaculation. One way to work on it is to see a therapist. Couple counseling has worked wonders, and more couples now freely approach therapists for a happier relationship.
- Performance Anxiety
Do you ever feel nervous and constantly ponder about how you will end up performing in the bedroom? Like all other men, your goals are the same to satisfy your partner but, do you ever worry if you will be able to do that or not? What if you are inadequate for your partner? Is this a question about your sexual reputation and you fear to fail? You think about this every time you are going to have sex as the questions drown and disarm you.
The chances are—you are battling with an anxiety disorder, and this largely hampers your natural sexual abilities. It is a cycle of thoughts and questions when you start doubting yourself. The easiest way to tackle this is to see a therapist who will guide you back to enjoying sex rather than worrying about it.
You can also resort to sensate focus exercises for gaining your intimacy back while taking away your thoughts from the performance metrics. You can do this with your partner by touching, rubbing, kissing, and exploring each other’s body intentionally for a longer period. This will help you discover your feelings and sensations back as sex is not about performance but about the pleasure you encounter.
- Talk about your issues
Men who choose to be silent over the problem somewhere force their partners to think that they are no more attractive or sexy. Don’t suffer silently because, if we believe experts, this can worsen your situation and damage your relationship too. You need to talk to your partner for immediate help. You both can work around together and quickly get rid of not just delayed ejaculation but any other sexual problems.
Medically reviewed by Rishabh Verma, RP