The curious Mister's guide to BDSM

BDSM, aka Bondage and Discipline, Sadism and Masochism, is a kind of kink we dislike publicly but secretly love. Though talking about bondage sex is still an awkward topic in the country, surprisingly, around 25% of the adults indulge in one or other forms of kink, manly spanking, grabbing hair, and choking. 


So what exactly is BDSM? Is it about Rihanna mentioning whips and chains in her song or Christian Grey saying “Laters, baby,” right? In an interview with Elite Daily, sex educator Lola Jean stated that -


“BDSM can be broken into three categories: Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, and Sadism/Masochism. This is the overall umbrella under which most kinks fall. It can contain all elements or only one. BDSM holds no space for judgment.”


The term portrays the idea of control and authority, displayed sexually. From whips, chains, and handcuffs to usage of aggressive language, there is no limit to this kink.


A study published in the Taylor and Francis Journal of sex research states that people who have never tried BDSM or rough sex have a desire to explore it. However, due to a vast range of activities it involves, it becomes hard for them to navigate this unknown world. In such a situation, a handy guide with certain pre-indulgence advice is a must.


Have A Conversation: Talking to your partner about exploring the BDSM umbrella can be hard but is the need of the hour, day, week, year, and century. You just can’t go rough on your partner or expect your partner to be kinky with you without making him/her aware and comfortable. Discuss the negotiations, boundaries, and consent for a better experience.


Do Some Homework: You never sail a boat without knowing about its basics. Exploring this new angle of your sex life is similar. Before going into the practicals, get some theoretical knowledge about how things work in BDSM. You can surf the internet for related articles, watch some ethical BDSM category pornography, or simply discuss it with a friend who has already done it.


Go For DIY’S: There are tones of BDSM related products on the web that can be fascinating. However, before spending money on it, try experimenting with the stuff that is in your home. You can always use a scarf in place of a handcuff. Doing so will save you from unwanted spending if you later feel that BDSM is not your sexual comfort category.


Communicate In The Process: You think you had initial communication with your partner, and the work is done? No. Communication should be an essential step during intimacy, as well. Talk about the involvement; keep a check on what you agreed is actually enjoyed by both of you and make modifications accordingly. Remember, it is all about pleasure.


Aftercare Is Still Needed: Indulging into bondage sex doesn’t mean you will not show affection towards your partner. Sex is a way of expressing love for someone. We do modify the whole act of intimacy as per our likes, dislikes, desires, and situations. However, it is always important to pair up your pleasure with some love, affection, and care. A soothing cuddle after a rough adventure does no harm to anyone.


Whether you are thinking of exploring the kink, stepping in the BDSM pool, the first time, or are a frequent passenger of the ride, to make this roller-coaster of pain and pleasure sexy and healthy, make sure you always abide by our guide.


The curious Mister's guide to BDSM


No content on this site should ever be used as a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician. The sole purpose of these articles is to provide information about health and wellness. This information is not intended for use in the diagnosis, treatment, cure, or prevention of any disease.
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