Now mister, does it often happen that you face difficulty in focusing on work for too long or always find yourself late in meeting deadlines? Also, do you find giving undivided attention to most of your daily tasks, a problem, including when you are being spoken to by someone? Adding to it, are you almost always searching for your watch, sunglasses, or car keys? Well, if the answer is yes, then here we are talking about possibilities of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), which, apart from affecting your attention and behavior, also affects your sexual relationship.
Now, as we know, sex is something that both partners need to feel, experience, and enjoy equally. But if you have ADHD, it affects your sexual relationship is a negative way due to the following reasons:
- Experiencing hypo sexuality or loss of sex drive
- Not enjoying or disliking ‘touch” during love-making
- Inability in reaching or getting an orgasm
- Having a desire for consensual non-monogamous activities
- Looking out for multiple sexual partners
- Hooked on to masturbation or porn
- Not being able to concentrate on love-making sessions
So naturally, as we see from the above, if you have ADHD, it will definitely put a strain on your sex life and, in turn, on your relationship. As per a study, it was found that in couples where one of the partners had ADHD, their sex life was affected negatively, especially if the partner who was suffering from the disease, didn’t put in enough effort to control his or her condition. On the contrary, in those cases wherein the affected partner did put in enough effort to manage the situation well, the couple had 67% more sex than those who didn’t.
So, in case, you feel you have symptoms of ADHD or have been diagnosed with the same, here is what you can do to from letting it affect your life in between the sheets:
Communication is the key to dealing with your sex life when suffering from ADHD. In most cases, problems arise because your partner starts feeling that they are not loved, wanted, or, you are not interested in them sexually. Speaking to them openly about your problems, like what distracts you, what you like, and what you don’t like, helps create an understanding. Like for example, if certain lights or smells irritate you or distracts you, avoid them in the bedroom environment. Tell her what kind of touches you find more soothing, relaxing, helping you to focus on the moment. Also, if there are certain positions or things in foreplay that you don’t enjoy, tell her about the same. It will help you guys work together towards a more satisfying sexual experience.
- Keep away Distractions:
If someone has ADHD, one of the main problems that he or she faces is a distraction, which also applies in the bedroom. There are men whose minds are absolutely elsewhere while at the task, and the same applies to women who have ADHD. So naturally, you don’t enjoy your intimacy if you are distracted, making it all the more stressful and dissatisfying for your partner as well. Even small distractions like mobile phones, television, or bright light can be distracting. Ensure that your bedroom is dimly lit and quiet for a calming effect on the nerves. Even the sound of a fan or open tap can be unnerving for those who have ADHD.
- Practise meditation:
There are many ways in which you can help build concentration like practicing meditation, yoga, or undergoing other activities that help you to develop concentration. Not only these, but even exercise also works wonders for people who have ADHD by assisting them to get rid of their restless energy, especially exercises like aerobics and martial arts. They say the more complex the exercise is, the better it is for the brain.
At the end of the day, if you find you have symptoms of ADHD and it is affecting your sex life and relationship, it is best to seek help from a sex therapist or mental health professional. Many couples have benefited from doing the same. It not only helps open up clarity and communication but avoids misunderstanding, leading to more intimacy and closeness.
Medically reviewed by Rishabh Verma, RP