“The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven” – said John Milton in his celebrated poem, Paradise Lost. The mind or the thinking apparatus is what makes us unique amongst all life that exists on earth. The sway that the human mind has on the body is often absolute, and without its spontaneous engagement, the body loses efficacy.

Sex, though a physiological act involving genitals, hormones, and erotic responses of the nerves, becomes a drab affair if the mind is shunned. In fact, desire, passion, love – the triggers of sexual excitement - are all deeply rooted in our mental plane. Hence if the mind lacks stimulation and excitement, the body becomes helpless. It is the level of mental connection between partners that determine their sex life.

A plethora of factors affects the mind and impacts sex life. Some of the widely prevalent relationship issues are listed here-


Bottled-up emotion takes a toll on relationships and damages sexual intimacy. If not addressed, it can be the final undoing for couples and can lead to separation or divorce. Anger and bitterness are equally harmful to a relationship, and sex life as both profoundly impairs intimacy.

Moreover, men and women also use sex as a weapon for repression or revenge and force or deprive partners to settle scores. This destroys the strained relationships further.

Boredom also leads to sexual inactivity. With the years, sexual encounters become less passionate and are replaced with a deeper intimacy of the body and mind. The partners need to tune them in, accordingly.


Today it is easy to connect with people. This has numerous benefits but entails potential damages as well. A typical social consequence of this is the affairs of clandestine nature.

Such affairs happen due to discontentment, boredom, seeking novelty, or insecurity. Post midlife, many yearn for a taste of mercurial sex of yesteryears. This drives them towards new partners. Unfulfilled emotional need or fear of age also leads to clandestine affairs. That said, sometimes it’s just pure lust or the desire to experiment with other partners, which leads to infidelity.

Affairs potentially damage relationships and estrange couples forever. When in an affair, it becomes difficult to respond to the old partner or wife due to guilt, comparison, or fatigue from a dual relationship. Moreover, on the discovery, the partner recoils emotionally and sexually.

Affairs destroy trust without which sexual intimacy is impossible. The best way to deal with infidelity is by accepting it, talking about it, and by seeking help. Partners need to work hard in order to restore trust and address the issues that led to the affair. Therapists or counselors are very helpful also for couples dealing with infidelity.

Lack of communica­tion

Lack of effective communication creates distance and distress, which in turn reduces the desire for sexual intimacy. Talking freely helps in knowing each other’s desires and fantasies and finding ways of pleasuring each other in the best ways possible. For couples having sexual issues, it becomes all the more important to discuss problems and seek help.

Lack of partner

Older adults often face this after losing their long-term mates. One who outlives the partner becomes alone, and with age, the prospects of finding new partners dwindle. That said, unease, guilt, and sense of disloyalty also stop them from starting new relationships.

Love moves mountains - issues are just a five-letter word!!