Orgasms, be it for men or women, are not only an amazing feeling but are also one of the best experiences one can have during sex. For both, it helps reduce stress, helps better sleep cycles, reduces the risk of heart attacks, strengthens the immune system makes the relationship happier. Now that's a lot of benefits! For men, however, achieving orgasm is a pretty basic affair. They get aroused, stimulate their genitals, either manually or through intercourse, reach the point of ejaculation and experience an orgasm simultaneously. Its a small and simple story. For women, it is a little different. Not only is the way to achieving an orgasm far more complicated,  most of the time their partner/ partners do not have a clear idea of what's going on!

According to research published in the Journal of sexual medicine, 43% out of 1,700 men faced difficulty in understanding when their wives achieved the big 'o' during sexual intercourse. In a similar study conducted by sex-toy-startup-Cunni, it was found that although 57% of men said that their partners did achieve orgasm through oral sex, 59% of them, weren't aware of what their partners liked during oral sex. So even if they did give their partner an orgasm, it’s not very clear which set of actions actually led to the same.

Coming to female orgasms, why are they not considered as simple as male ones? Firstly for a woman to get an orgasm, her mind has to be absolutely free of any worries or thoughts. For example, she can’t be wondering whether she's left her curling iron on or not! Secondly, its important that she feels mentally connected to her sexual partner. The lesser the intimacy, the lesser the chances are, that she will reach climax. Thirdly, her sexual partner must have a clear idea of what turns her on; if its clitoral stimulation or sucking and rubbing her nipples. Every woman is different. To top it all, keep in mind that the same tricks might not work, every time.

Now let's discuss some basic differences between a male and female orgasm, that will help us understand this gender gap and the reasons for it.

  • Ejaculations:

In the case of men, most orgasms are accompanied by the ejaculation of semen. Only around 10- 54% of females report the ejaculation of a whitish fluid during orgasm. Some men, however, can also achieve orgasm without ejaculation, which is called a dry orgasm. It is not only observed in men suffering from bladder diseases and those who have had their prostate removed, but also in perfectly healthy men.

  • Time taken:

Men win the race to the finish and that to, by a huge margin. While it takes an average of 7 to 14 minutes for a man to achieve orgasm, it takes almost 10-20 minutes for a woman. A man's time drops to as low as 3 to 5 minutes during intercourse, whereas 25% of women don't even achieve orgasm from intercourse! Plenty of foreplay, fingering, kissing and stimulation is required by women to reach climax.

  • Relationship:

As per studies, women get frequent orgasms if they feel connected to their partners. A deep level of bonding and connection helps their mind to relax and focus completely on sexual pleasure.

  • Orgasm Frequency

A woman can get up to 7 orgasms in just 16 minutes whereas in men, the refractory period is usually much longer. Men can practice getting multiple orgasms in a single sexual episode by exercising control and not ejaculating. Women have a clear win here, because to them, multiple orgasms come naturally!

Medically reviewed by Rishabh Verma, RP

gender gap