You have met her so many times as your buddy’s girlfriend. You guys might have exchanged a few words and smile back then. Then you came to know one day of their breakup. It wasn’t very easy for your friend, but now he is over her, or at least you feel so. Everything was going fine till you suddenly end up meeting her at a party, and you find your self getting attracted to her, and she also reciprocates. Now you don’t know what to do. On one side, the attraction is too strong to ignore, and on the other, is your buddy with whom you have been through thick and thin. So should it be okay to date his ex? Well, now, this is a tricky one! Amongst the 11 rules of bro code, never dating your friend’s ex-girlfriend is definitely one of them. So, what do you do now? Well, mister if you are in this tricky a situation, here are a few suggestions for you to follow, to help you decide on what to do next.
1 First, be clear to yourself:
Sometimes we find ourselves attracted to someone, just to feel after a couple of months that this was never the right person. If that’s the case, then seriously, it’s not worth taking the risk and mental pressure. If you are lonely and are easily attracted to any hot single chick, then pursuing this particular woman doesn’t make a lot of sense. But if you feel that you have hit off with her like no one else before and there is much more to this than just taking off clothes and getting laid, then you might want to consider giving this relationship a fair chance. So it all depends on you at the end of the day.
2 How serious was their relationship?
Whether you should venture out on this new relationship also depends a lot on how serious was your friend’s relationship. Like for example, if he was dating her for just four months and it was nothing very serious, then you can probably think of getting to know her. But say he was in a four-year-long relationship with her and was heartbroken after the breakup, it would be more advisable to stay away from the same. After all, you guys would be meeting at common friend’s parties or get-togethers, and seeing his ex there with you, would not exactly be something that he would want to.
3 How serious is your friendship?
Now mister, the depth of your friendship also has a say in this. If you guys are friends for years and have seen each other through both good and bad times, then trying to put your friendship at stake for a new prospective relationship, doesn’t seem a very good idea. But say you are gym buddies of recent or booze buddies, and you feel that you can risk this friendship for the sake of dating her, then you can go ahead.
4 Is she worth risking the friendship?
Yes, a lot depends on this girl as well. If she is someone who likes to have these casual flings with guys, then risking your friendship for another such casual fling is definitely not worth it. There are plenty of prospective girls whom you can meet on online dating sites. But if she is someone whom you find a genuine person who just had a stroke of bad luck at the relationship, then you can definitely give yourself and her a fair chance at getting to know each other.
5 Talk to your friend:
We are not asking you to take his permission. But yes, it’s a sensitive topic, and you should raise it with him like a true friend. Like you can ask him if he has got over with the relationship, does he still nurture any feelings for her and whether he is willing to see someone else. If he tells you that he is over with her and better still, seeing someone else, it will be much easier for you to pick up the topic. But if he is still not over her and it hurts him, don’t push the matter. Good friends last forever, a new prospective relationship might or might not. So know where to draw the line.