Sex is the most sought out human desire, and making it the best possible experience is an obsession. With advice coming in from friends, books, entertainment and social media - people still find satisfying sex a challenge.
Sex has cultural, economic and social norms set to build up a high standard. Some see it as a means to carry on family names, some monetise it and some form demeaning assumptions. The truth is, sex is an act of personal pleasure.
Let’s run through a few things that will help you see that sex is a simple experience.
1. Comfort: First sexual experiences are unforgettable, and while some are great, you’d find most not wanting to relive that awkward moment. There is no specific age to when you have to lose your virginity; comfort can make a sexual experience a ‘real’ one rather than a ‘let’s-get-this-over-with’ idea. Get into the sexy time when the butterflies in your tummy are happy nerves not to satisfy egos or expectations.
2. Communication is vital, as the saying goes; it’s not lame to talk about when you’re ready to have sex. Talking about insecurities is largely considered a turn-off for whatever reason. People would rather be uncomfortable during the moment and then talk to their friends about it later. There is no reason to feel ashamed about sharing your insecurities with your partner or listening to theirs.
3. Imitation: When friends may try to help you out, or when you hear their sex stories, the instinct is to try and make yours similiar. What people forget is that it won’t be the same at all - you, your wants and needs are different. Oh, and your partner may not share the same desires to that of your friends’. Instead of this, try to figure out what works for both of you - spice up YOUR sex life. Read about it, talk about it and make it work!
4. Illusion: Porn has become mainstream, creating misconceptions about how long should a man perform in bed. In these movies, many things are going on behind the scenes like day-long breaks and special effects. Being robotic with 3D body parts has been ingrained in the brains of men - it’s time to get real! Don’t spend time thinking about your package not being big enough or that you don’t last - it’s how you use your package that matters.
5. Autonomy: Realise for yourself that sexual experience is what you make of it, being yourself helps your mind focus on positive thoughts. Negative thoughts can demonise an experience, making it unsatisfactory for both of you. Performing well boosts a man’s mentality - allow yourself to be present in the moment.
6. Education: Most individuals jump into the heated act without understanding the whereabouts of certain body parts required for an excellent finish. Educating yourself and learning what you and your partner find pleasurable will make your experience a much better one. Knowledge is power!
There is no formula to great sex – it is spontaneity ignited, not pre-planned nonsense.