So the lady said yes, times are exciting, the future seems all bright and shiny, but hey wait! We do not want to be a party pooper, congratulations on the engagement, but be smart about the commitment ahead and tread the matrimonial waters wisely. People who have been in relationships for years, yearn for one single thing – a happily ever after with their partner. This, however, is only possible if you both are committed to making your future better. It works magnificently if you start working for it ASAP.
There are golden rules to a relationship that can make or break the bond between you and your partner; in other words; a cheat sheet to a loving relationship.
Invest in each other: Would you want to be with someone who doesn’t give you the time of their day or is hesitant to set aside a few minutes for you? Happy couples do it without asking, they want to spend time with their partner, they cherish the time together and look forward to it each day, every day. Start with creating a stress-free atmosphere, where you two can just enjoy and share the titbits of your daily life. If you are worried about getting distracted, keep the phone away, so you won’t be disturbed by the pings or calls, even if it is for 20 minutes in a day.
Communication matters: You are engaged now, but does that mean you can stop being curious about the life of your partner? Absolutely not, you cannot afford to! If you do, you are not giving them the love and attention they deserve. It should also be noted that your partner is not a psychic, and you need to tell them about your likes and dislikes, your dreams and what makes you happy, or what lights up your day. Keep asking the important questions, and keep being honest to each other. Do not stop being curious about the love of your life.
Enjoy sex, and also talk about sex: It might not feel special or even not feel romantic when you have to schedule time for sex, but if your relationship is lacking in that department, one has to do something about it, right? Since relationships are all hot and heavy in the beginning and tend to fizzle down some years down the road, or in some cases, just months… Set aside some time for the sexy time, make it special for each other, set the mood, look good for each other, and the magical time in the sheets will strike once again. It will also ensure both your physical needs are being met.
Be honest about the sexual needs with your partner: Sexual intimacy may be a tricky topic to approach, but it is absolutely necessary to ensure healthy communication for great sex life. Ask questions about what arouses them, what do they expect out of their partner, what are their limits, what makes them happy in bed? Be specific and open. Couples who communicate without hesitation have a strong bond, but if you feel it is difficult to do so, there is no harm in contacting a therapist and opt for couples counselling.
Talk about finances: This is important, mention finances to each other. Talk about how they like to handle their money, sit down and ask the difficult questions. Things like… what they want in the future… if possible; have a financial consultant with you as well. This will educate you both about the future goals when it comes to money. Just be clear and open to each other about the credit ratings and any existing debt.
You can ask these questions: Do you like to spend or save? How about the debt that you have? How should we go about dividing financial responsibilities? How important is money to you? How the decisions about a car, home, and loan purchase should be done? What should be done to have a little cushion money available for tough times? What are the retirement plans?
Be aware of who your partner is, accept them as they are, and not somebody you hope they would become.
During a fight, many partners tend to forget that this is the partner they married, and this is what they planned to commit to, a few hiccups here and there should not be treated as a dead end. People do not change; you accept them as they are. If there are certain behaviours of theirs that annoy you, don’t attack them and try to have a conversation in a respectful manner without causing discord.
If you aim to build a deep, meaningful relationship, remember the sage advice; love them, but don’t forget to love yourself too.