In the course of however long you’ve dated for we’re sure you’ve thought at least once of doing something kinky during a sexual endeavour. Now, in most cases you would think men want women to be slightly rough in bed, in fact, most girls talk about how men prefer it. You know the whole “lady in the street, freak in bed” vibe plays out in the minds of men. But, we’re here to let you in on a secret - women want you to be rough in bed too.
If your mind has already made it to the porn entertainment industry, then you must be aware of the content geared for women. Some call it soft erotica or soft porn. There are many views as to why women may want rough sex - some feminists and some on the other far end of the spectrum. In simple truth though, it could be the same reason some men like it as well - it’s pleasurable to them.
Women, in a trusted environment and partner, have and do the experiment when it comes to foreplay and sex. Some like being dominant - it awakens a sense of power and passion, and who would say no to that?
There is the attraction factor and simple fact of what foreplay scenarios get her going. The urge to want to mate is a powerful one and the satisfaction of an encouraged climax is the goal. The idea of women liking rough sex may be bashful in societies that look for women to be pretty and polite while men do all the gawking. What most people seem to miss is why some women enjoy rough sex.
In the bedroom, a woman is able to take control of her body and has a sense of being in charge. You may be under the impression that women who are submissive in bed, are submissive in their everyday life - but you’d be surprised to know that most women who prefer things on the rough side in the bedroom hold rather powerful roles in their community.
This is backed up by certified sex therapist and somatic psychologist, Dr Holly Richmond -
“Often, women who like to be dominated by men, and who prefer something that is considered culturally taboo, are [often] in positions of power and/or have a lot of responsibility in their lives, she could be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, or she could be stay-at-home mom of three. Both positions require a great degree of authority, dependability (ensuring others are taken care of), and self-discipline. Being dominated means that a woman does not have to make any decisions and the burden of responsibility can be shed for a time.”
Stigmas view women who prefer kink as they degrade themselves and that is step one of the problem that should be addressed. How women feel in the comfort of their own sexual experimentation is not up for question, reason or judgement. If your partner prefers to have rough sex once in a while, have a conversation, and only when comfortable - proceed.
The rush and excitement that comes out of careful rough play is the reason why some women prefer rough sex. They are able to take control of their minds and decisions and so are you. Be clear of what turns you on and what does not, and a safe word for when either of you thinks things have gone too far. Mutual respect and trust are huge factors; everything else will fall into place.