We, humans, are blessed in many ways, and one of those is communication. We can communicate about what we feel, what we want, and what we do not like. Still, it’s incredible how couples refrain from communicating during or about sex. Either they feel that they would be hurting their partner’s feelings or feel shy enough to express what they want or like. Communication with respect to sex doesn’t always mean that it has to happen at the peak point or during an action. Communication can be at any time, even during the times when you are watching a movie. But expressing one self regarding sex helps make sex all the better. When it comes to sex, we have a double virtue over the other species. We can enjoy foreplay, and we can communicate about how we feel. Not doing either affects our sex life negatively. Even if you are the silent types, who don’t speak much, your body language or a few words during sex, can make things seem much better for your partner.
Here are 5 ways in which every couple can use communication to make their sex life, much better than ever before!
1 Speak about times when you have had a great time:
Something like “last Thursday when we were on the floor, and you just went down there, I really loved that.” Expressing what you liked from your past sexual encounters will help your partner know what to do next, to make the experience all the better for you. Also, it is highly satisfying for a partner to see, feel, or realize that what she or he is doing, is making the other person feel good. It’s just like a small encouragement to make things all the better in the future.
2 Always focus on the positives:
Yes, it might be outright nasty to tell your partner, that thing you did last night sucked! Instead, you can always say, I liked that part when you nibbled at my neck and ears the most, or when you placed your hands there, instead of telling, I didn’t like it when you almost tore off my shirt. Naturally, when you highlight what you liked, the rest automatically comes in the category which didn’t please you or is not worth mentioning, without hurting your partner’s feelings at all.
3 Encourage your partner to communicate:
If your partner is the silent type, then encourage them to communicate by asking questions, either during the act or later on, like, did you like it better when I used my tongue instead of my fingers? Or did you like this position better? Even a yes or a no will be a form of communication! Also, if they are conscious, you can always lead the way by talking about things that you enjoyed yourself, either doing or receiving. This will eventually lead them to open up as well.
4 Use body language to express:
If you are the ones you don’t like any noise during those intimate moments, well, you can use your body language instead of expressing yourself. By just the movement of your hands or the way you hold her tighter, there are plenty of ways to show that you are loving what she is doing. Also, you can be very expressive with your eyes. While sucking her breasts or giving her an oral, keeping making eye contact, which would again reinforce her likes and yours.
5 Learn to say yes:
If your partner comes up with a new idea, and you are unsure about it, don’t keep saying no. How would you know whether you liked it or not, until you experienced it? Learn to say more of yes than nos during sex. Of course, there are lines which you would like not to tread on and that’s perfectly okay, but say she wants blindfold play or include some sex toys, don’t straight away write her off by saying no. Remember, in a couple, it’s natural for one to have more fantasies than the other, and by saying no, either you are suppressing your partner’s fantasies or encouraging them to try it out elsewhere! So being open to trying new things will help you both connect better, sexually, and emotionally.